I’m going to whine and complain in this post.  Consider yourself warned.

Normally I get home from work every day at about 4:20, give or take a few minutes.  Yesterday I had to stop at the grocery store on my way home and since I was on my motorcycle it took a little longer to get in, grab some veggies, pack them into the bike and get home.  I got home about 5:10.  Before even changing my clothes I started on getting dinner going and making lunches.  At 6:20, we sat down to eat.  At 6:45 we cleaned up and I left the house to take the dog for her walk.  Arriving home at 7:45, I threw a pan of muffins into the oven (I’d made the batter while making dinner) and went outside to water the gardens.  And then?  It’s bedtime.   So how much “spare time” did I have last night?  I guess I had the 20 minutes of garden watering and on a technicality, the hour that I walked the dog (although this isn’t optional so much as a required chore). 

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET ANYTHING DONE WHEN I HAVE EXACTLY 20 MINUTES EVERY NIGHT TO DO IT?!?!  As I was going to bed in order to be up for 4am gym I praised baby Jesus that we don’t have small (or any) children that also need looking after, play, cuddles etc.  Are you kidding me?!

Yesterday I found the link to a very, VERY long article about women, hormones, carbs and stress.  I’m not kidding, it’s 21 pages printed.  It’s long.  And worth every minute that you spend reading it.   Go, read it!  Print it to read later!

It explains so much (and very logically) about how we need time to rest and recover and if you’re living a stressful life (haha, who isn’t?!) that if you want to add another stressor like nutritional deprivation when slashing carbs or calories for weight loss or intense workouts, that you have to either remove another stressor or actively chase rest and recovery. 

My question is, if I am supposed to either remove stress (major labour dispute leading into financial worries…can’t really “remove” that) or actively chase rest and recovery, how am I supposed to do that with 20 minutes a night?! 

I suppose the flip side of this whole whiney, bitching post is that I am very fortunate to have been able to fill my life and time with things that mean something to me.  I spend at least an hour making dinner and lunches every night because the quality and kind of food that we eat is highly valuable to me.  I go to bed at 8:30 every night because going to the gym in the morning is important to me.  I spend an hour walking my dog each evening because I love her and chose to get her and care for her.  Does it bother me that I don’t have more free time?  HIGHLY.  I don’t know what to do about that though because none of the things that currently fill my time are things that I would be willing to do without.  SUGGESTIONS?

I was/am looking forward to next week when all I have to take care of is myself and Grace because Ray will be out of town for 7 days. (And completely out of communication as well which makes me slightly anxious….but I’m trying to ride the “excited that I get a bunch of time to myself” train instead of hopping off that one and getting onto the “paralyzed with anxiety and fear” train.  No one likes that train, it never goes anywhere good!)  Anyway, I had this great feeling like I would be able to get so much done while he’s gone because I don’t have to worry about making anything for dinner besides eggs or a smoothie, 15 minutes, tops!  What I actually see happening is being so exhausted from my regular life that I’m going to spend all the time that he’s gone reading my book and going to bed at 8pm.  LOL!

There was really no point to this post, to be quite honest.  I’m irritated that the rest of my garden isn’t weeded yet, I have plants that HAVE to be transplanted and potted or they’re going to die, seeds have to go in soon or they’ll be too late to harvest this year.  And I have no extra time or energy to do it in.   I’m irritated that our house is a mess and that traffic is the shits lately and that Ray is sick.  I’m overall just really irritated.  And I have no time during the week to sip a glass of wine and put my feet up.  Yep.  Irritated.


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