Highs & Lows

Totally not loving life at the moment, I’m feeling horribly pukey, completely exhausted and this day is draaaaaagging along.  The upset stomach, I think, is a combo of, all approved but bad pairings of food this morning. I had almond cereal (almond meal, shredded coconut, flax seed, walnuts and almond milk mixed together and heated up a bit) coffee with coconut milk as usual and then a half a bottle of Kombucha which is not as usual.  I think I ended up with just too much stomach acid….that’s what it feels like, anyway.

I was going to recap the weekend….well….actually I did and it was the most boring post I’ve ever written so it got deleted.  The high & low points:

  • LOW point:  Came home on Friday night after having been out of the house for almost 14 hours….to find my dog had eaten a loaf of bread off the counter and peed on the carpet
  • LOW point:  Husband is still sick and the coughing is driving me batty!  I feel terrible for him, he’s so miserable, but JEEEEzus, the coughing!!!!!!
  • HIGH point: Went jean shopping and scored two pairs of stylish (that is a fact worth mentioning!) fitted jeans.  Whiskers and stitching, oh my!
  • HIGH point: Got some good cuddles in over the weekend, sick hubby from above has been feeling very snuggly.  Goes to bed clutching on to me like a child onto a teddy bear.  Which is so sweet and wonderful feeling…..until he coughs into my ear for about an hour. 😉
  • LOW point:  Had dinner at The Ex Wife’s House for Kyle’s bday.  Always wildly uncomfortable and requires a huge amount of energy from me to flip the anxiety switch off and turn the sunshine switch on.  Made doubly worse this time by Ex Wife’s new boyfriend….who was staring unabashedly at me every time I looked over.  Not sure what his deal was but it was rather off-putting. 
  • LOW point:  Grace is writing a book called How Not To Make Friends 101…and demonstrated some of her tips at Ex Wife’s House.  Growl & aggress against resident dogs, pee on back deck and throw up on front room carpet.  Grrrreat.
  • LOW point:  Have been up all night long with my sick man, not sure exactly what the problem is aside from the ongoing and never ending cough.  No sleep, hours of coughing and wheezing…and all I can do is fluff his pillow and rub his back.  Doesn’t do anything at all for the actual issue, not even really sure if it soothes him.  But, I can’t sleep if he is in distress so laid awake with him all night.  He’s not at work today (obv) and going to go back to the doctor.  I am at work today and wish I could crawl under my desk for a wee nap.
  • HIGH point:  The weekend was not a failure for diet or exercise….even though Ex Wife served lasagna and scalloped potatoes for dinner last night.  Believe it or not I was actually able to make that work without eating a single noodle or tater and not looking like a complete lunatic.

On the menu this week for dinners is fajitas in fresh lettuce wraps w/ homemade fajita seasoning and homemade guacamole, rib eye steak topped with balsamic mushrooms & onions, served with mashed turnips and greenery, walnut chicken served with mashed cauli and greenery & a huge wild coho filet that will be served with yamiflower and whatever other veggies are left over at the end of the week!  (Read that dinner menu and tell me you would miss the grain?!  NOT!)

UPDATE:  as I was going to publish this we got confirmation that Ray really is quite ill and not just trying to drive me crazy!  Now that he actually has a diagnosis though, he’ll get some medication and we can all move forward over the next couple of days.  For me, I’m looking forward to going home and walking my dog in the not-raining-right-now and then putting my jammie pants on and having a cup of tea while dinner cooks.




Consider yourself forewarned, there is no theme or rhyme or reason to this post. 
Last night we were invited to dinner at Ray’s daughter’s house to celebrate her husband’s birthday….first birthday since they’ve been married….everything’s such a big deal when it’s the firsts!  Anyway, given that sometimes relations can be a bit rocky with the adult children and the fact that my equilibrium is alway very turbulent any time we’re at an event where his ex wife will also be present, and the fact that I eat grain free and that is hard enough to explain let alone amongst all the other issues……..I had a roaring stomach ache yesterday afternoon.  It wasn’t bloat as it has been in the past and there was no offending food that could have caused it.  I figured it was either stress or the flu.  I was really wishing it was the flu yesterday afternoon and went to the trouble to read up on inducing vomitting so that I could stay home and avoid the whole thing.  But….that’s not very adult-like, is it?
We went, the evening was lovely (as it always, ALWAYS is when I’ve gotten myself worked up into a lather beforehand!) and Andrea cooked a beautiful dinner, a huge, fresh salmon, green salad w/ toasted walnuts, strawberries and avocado and then bread and potatoes.  Andrea and her mom (the ex, obv) and I had a really amusing, slightly wine-induced conversation about weight management, fitness, supplements etc, cake was served (I passed) and then it was time to go. 
When we got home, however, the stomach ache from hell ramped up and it felt like I had heartburn….in my back.  My kidneys were on fire, my mid chest was aching something fierce, it was all I could do to stay standing.  I ended up sleeping all night with a hot water bottle against my back and my front pressed up against the man-heater that I sleep with.  This morning I felt fine though so either it was stress remnants from earlier or I fought something off.
I have not exercised in 2 weeks…..oh…no wait….that’s a lie.  I went jogging last Tuesday and Wednesday.  Whatever….considerable time has passed since I worked up a good sweat.  And I don’t care.  I don’t even feel bad about it.  I should.  I should be concerned that I have a 10k paid for that is coming in less than a month that I am not trained for.  But I don’t.  It’ll all work out.  And Monday I start the weight training….which I’m looking forward to and also kind of freaked about.
I am at my lowest weight in over three years as of this morning….which doesn’t really count because only Tuesday weigh ins count….but I was excited.  2.2 more pounds and I’ll be in the lower bracket where my goal is.  I’ll get there!
Tonight I should really go for a run…or at least a walk.  Fresh air.  It’s awfully black looking out there over where I live.  We’ll see.  What I do know is that Ray owes me an ice cream run for last night.  We have an agreement that he shows me respect and appreciation when I play nice with his ex wife, even when I don’t want to.  Since last night wasn’t a big deal, an ice cream date will be more than sufficient.  I also got a kiss before we left the house last night with a “Thank you for coming, I appreciate it.”.  Which…might not seem like a big deal, but he wasn’t coerced into the comment and he didn’t look like he was going to start bleeding from the eyes when it was over, it was just….nice.
So, walk.  Halibut & mashed cauli for dinner.  Ice cream later. 
*****************and an edit****************
Ray is in the shower, he has been sobbing since I got home.  He’s going to put his dog down in the next week and it’s killing him.  It is breaking my heart watching his heart break.  Life sucks.  We’re still going for ice cream.