Magic Potion!

I recently read an awesome article, it was explaining why so many people fail with getting in shape (and I’m sure it’s a similar thing for losing weight).  It was explaining how when people are all insanely excited and gung ho and off the wall with enthusiasm that it’s that exact enthusiasm that can derail you after awhile.  Anyway, click on over and take a look if you like.  Well worth reading.
Yesterday’s spinning class and the day before Combat have kicked my ass…literally….my butt is so sore…but the fact that I can feel it every time I sit down and stand up is awesome, it’s a reminder that I have been doing good things!  There’s spinning tonight also…..I’m going to try to hit the tanning bed tonight before spinning also.  I’ve been lazy about it and I shouldn’t, it really does make my excema so much better…plus I’m paying for it anyway so I might as well use it!
I really don’t have much else to say today (odd, I know!).  I found this saying today and have printed it and put it on my bathroom mirror.  It’s a good reminder for when you’re waiting for that magic potion that makes you want to go out in the dark and cold to work out or makes you love getting out of bed early to exercise, that it’s YOU that creates your own magic potion.  When you’re waiting for eating vegetables and lean protein to be as delightful and easy as eating chocolate and fish sticks, that it’s YOU that decides what is and isn’t alright. 
Love List ~ November 23, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
almond coconut chocolate chip cookie
green beans w/ lemon pepper
a sore bum

Winter Schminter!

Happy Monday, it’s snowing here….in a place that does not deal well with snow.  I am from The North, we had snow, packed on roads and plowed up onto medians for 5 months of the year.  Shovelling was a daily (and sometimes mulitple times) chore.  We had block heaters in our cars and actual winter clothing, snow pants and big mittens, toques and earmuffs.  I grew up in a climate that had an Actual Winter and it didn’t bother me.  My sister and I used to walk to and from school (about a km and a half each way) every day.  The only time that we were given a pass on going to school was when the thermometer outside of our dining room window showed -40 or colder.  That happened about once/year.  Any other day we walked.  We put snowpants and winter jackets over our clothes, put on boots and mitts and braved the outdoors.  And now?  I hate the cold and I hate the snow.  When Ray took our dog for a walk last night he didn’t even bother asking me if I wanted to go (granted I was cooking dinner, but still).  I probably wouldn’t hate it as much if I had all the proper winter gear again….but since I’m always cold anyway (sitting here typing, my fingers may just shatter), going out into even colder doesn’t thrill me at all.
Yesterday I made Roasted Acorn & Butternut Soup.  It turned out alright…..because those are fairly sweet squashes though (and even more once you roast them), it’s difficult to season the soup.  We don’t like spicy and if you don’t season it properly it has the potential to become Pie Filling Soup.  I did alright with it and I’m curious to taste it again today once the flavours have melded.  I also made cheesy croutons out of large chunks of baguette, spread with some goat cheese and topped with a little sprinkle of marble and then broiled.  Very delicious!
I’m still on my Low Sodium awareness, I do not want a repeat of last week.  I’m convinced that the problem last week was something of a perfect storm of TOM, eating out and heart issue which caused the over-retention of sodium.  But I’m not taking any chances.  I’m being much more aware of sodium content (which is a good idea anyway) and buying sometimes more expensive but lower sodium products.  I used low sodium organic chicken and veg broth for the soup last night and when I was buying canned salmon for my lunch I found a low sodium one….460mg  per serving for the regular one and 85mg per serving for the low sodium one.  More expensive but that’s a HUGE difference.  The taste is slightly more bland but that’ll change as we get used to this.  
Tonight I’m going to BodyCombat at 4:30pm.  Ray is back on graveyard so he is sleeping now but will hopefully be cooking a small roast and some asparagus and red potatoes by the time I get home from Combat tonight.   We’re eating out once this week, on a Friday night date with our friends.  Given our recent record of eating out, I’ll take once/week as an acceptable reduction! 
I haven’t posted a Love List lately….and while you might not care, I do and I liked framing my day in a grateful manner so I’m going to try to do consistently again.

Love List ~  November 21, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
my kitten hat
silly kisses at 6:15am
an absence of morning commute mayhem
warm soup for lunch

One Hour, One Bottle

Of wine. One hour of talking and one bottle of wine and some apparant understanding between Ray and I as it relates to his ex wife. So why, this morning, do I feel completely defeated, like I sold out on my values and morals and am now a doormat. Maybe it’s what my sister said in the comments yesterday, because I don’t want to let anyone else win? My version of winning has her vaporizing in a puff of black smoke, never to darken our door or set my teeth on edge again. Obviously that’s not the sort of winning that I can have. Obviously. So why then, do I feel like I lost? I didn’t lose….I made the best of a bad situation. Right?

Our conversation last night went amazingly well, we were both calm, no one cried, we were honest with each other and both of us discussed how we feel about certain situations. We also discussed that this new understanding applies only to UNAVOIDABLE CIRCUMSTANCES….birthdays, funerals, weddings. It does not give her carte blanche to come over whenever she likes, for Ray to invite her in for coffee without privately consulting me first. I still want her to stop calling our house all the time, I want her to STOP calling our house only when she knows I’m not going to be home (and the same for coming over). Ray figures that she’s just trying to avoid me….I said that everytime she does that, those shards of glass that I have to swallow get sharper and then, so does my mood/attitude. He says I probably make her uncomfortable….I said “Good.” and if she needs to come over/make contact then she has to do it when I’m there, discomfort for her or not.

Ray had to call his daughter last night also….since the way that things were handled when Ray called Judy the night before and asked her not to come did not sit well with Andrea….and she has the potential to cause a lot of problems for us if she decides that’s the way she wants to go. When Ray called her last night her biggest issue was that she didn’t understand why everything seemed perfectly fine at the wedding and that now it’s not. Ray had to explain to her that the ‘perfectly fine’ at the wedding was an enormous amount of work and caused great issue in our relationship and that certain things afterward were not taken care of like they should have been and that’s part of what is going on now. I’m impressed with him because he took it all on himself when he was smoothing things over with her. Ray will also be calling his ex wife this weekend and getting together for coffee with her (at my request) and resetting the new boundaries for going forward. He said that in fairness to her, before me, he always encouraged her to come over, see the dog, see the kids etc. He never refused her if she brought cooking or baking over. And when I showed up, we dated for awhile before I moved in and to her there was no difference. Now there’s a big difference and she hasn’t made the shift. So, in the interest of goodwill and calmness in our universe, I asked him to go for coffee with her and explain that the request for her not to come to dinner the other night may have been handled poorly (it wasn’t, but we have dealt with that in our own relationship) and that yes, we can all be in the same room together for birthdays and funerals and weddings. He’s also going to explain though that while that’s all very nice and well, she shouldn’t be calling the house (especially when she knows I’m not home), she should never be calling the house after 8pm at night, she shouldn’t be dropping by unannounced etc. Yes, we can all be in the same room together but we’re not all best buddies, some of this is new boundaries that are going to have to be respected.

Anyway, after our conversation last night, we made and ate dinner and then Ray offered to take me on my favourite date…Chapters. I love going to Chapters at night and wandering around the store, letting my mind and hands drift and dust jackets, reading snippets and browsing magazines. We separate at the front door and then wind our way back to each other and for whatever reason it’s one of my favorite things to do together. I bought two new books last night. I haven’t been excited about my reading list lately and now I want to tear through the book I’m on to get going on the new ones!

Tomorrow is a day off here in British Columbia, it’s Remembrance Day (the day we remember our veterans and what they did for us…at 11:11am on 11/11/11). We will take a moment of silence at that time and be grateful for all of our freedoms and luxuries and remember how blessed we are. We’re going on a little road trip tomorrow, we’re taking a drive to a town that is about 4 hours away so that we can buy the best, most delicious peach pie and the gooiest most sugary cinnamon bun in the whole world. And then we’re driving 4 hours back home. Saturday I have spinning (which I have to go to, especially since I skipped spinning last night in favour of doing a little relationship housekeeping) and then the AGM for our motorcycle group. Sunday I think we might go for a picnic if the weather is nice.

Tonight I am SUPPOSED to be getting my hair cut….yep, missed last week due to horrific traffic accident. This hair cut is now 3 weeks late and I can almost audition for the role of sheepdog in the next big movie! And then I’m treating myself to sushi for dinner (Ray is dining with his mom tonight).

Love List ~ November 10, 2011
Sushi (I’m anticipating loving this one!)
Understanding among partners
Freedom to do, wear, say and vote however I choose

I’m At A Loss

Last night was my boyfriend’s son’s birthday and because he works during the day and in a city about a 1/2 hour away from where we all live, we decided to do a late pub night dinner.  Ray and I discussed at length beforehand that we needed to ensure that this was a birthday get together that was not meant to include either his ex wife or his ex wife’s family.  It’s past time to cut those ties…for our relationship and for Ray’s relationship with his kids.  The night before, Ray did a good thing and he called his ex wife and confirmed with her that he would appreciate that she not come to the pub night dinner, this was a family thing for us.  She said fine.
20 minutes before we were set to leave to pick up Ray’s mom and go to the pub, she texted and said she’d changed her mind, she was coming anyway.  Obviously I was so upset about this….it pretty much means that I’m screwed from here to the end of time.  If she cannot respect being specifically asked not to show up to something and she shows up anyway, there’s nothing left that I can do.  Ray did what I asked him to do, he informed her of our feelings on the matter and asked her to make other arrangements.  She chose to disregard that and claim her ‘right’ to come to whatever she wants that involves her ‘children’.  (Kyle turned 31 yesterday).  I really have no idea what to do at this point.  I’m at a complete and frustrated loss.  Suggestions?
In food news, last night’s pub dinner (at 8:30 at night!) wasn’t completely off the rails for me.  Everyone had either delicious, greasy, juicy looking cheesy hamburgers and fries or clam & salmon chowder or deep fried prawns….and I didn’t.  I just couldn’t see not feeling like utter garbage the next morning if I’d eaten something like that as late at night as it was.  I didn’t even take the calories into consideration, it was really just a ‘how is that going to make me feel’ sort of decision.  So I had a chicken wrap….grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato and pesto mayo wrapped in a tortilla….and I had a garden salad with it that was disgusting and didn’t get eaten.  I probably could have stopped at half the wrap for as late at night as it was, but I had the whole thing….plus 2 glasses of red wine and half of Ray’s Granville Island Winter Ale (so good!).  Overall foodwise I feel pretty good about it, I don’t feel like garbage this morning so that’s good…..I did sleep through my alarm this morning though…I think the combo of wine/beer, a few days of heavy exercise and emotional upset last night all came together and I slept like the dead.
I’m meant to go spinning tonight at 7:15.  After tonight there’s no exercise until Saturday morning so there’s really no reason I can’t go and blast it and then have a couple of days rest.   Plus I would really like to go tanning……tanning is at the gym and spinning is at the gym, problem solved, right?!
Love List ~ November 9, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
cozy sweater dresses
the numbing properties of wine
deep conditioned, soft and shiny hair

Unadulterated Gratitude

Every Tuesday morning at 5am I lay in my bed and listen to the music play on my alarm and I debate either getting out of bed and going to 6am spinning or resetting my alarm and sleeping for another 2 hours.  It wasn’t too difficult of a choice this morning though, you see one year ago today I was in the hospital with what was originally thought to be a heart attack.  I was only 31 years old, fit and healthy, a non smoker doing everything right.  And then, following a difficult outdoor bicycle ride, a switch was flipped and I ended up having a severe tachycardic event. 
I remember coming in from my ride that day, it was a Sunday afternoon, clear and cold out and I had ridden as hard as I could, the hills in my neighborhood.  I was out for about 40 minutes and when I came back things started to go horribly wrong.  My heart was beating so fast and so irregularly that I didn’t have the energy to even talk to Ray, I thought if I did I would likely pass out.  Anyway, long story short, I went to my doctor and she sent me for blood tests.  About 4 hours later she called me back and told me to go to the ER immediately because all the markers came back that I’d had a heart attack. 
That began the most brutal months I’ve ever lived through.  I was in the ER for two days, sitting there in absolute terror, the heart attack markers just kept climbing, they drew blood every hour and hooked me up to the EKG every hour.  I was only allowed out of bed to go to the bathroom, escorted the entire time (at one point I considered just not coming out of the bathroom at all!).  You can imagine the things that go through your mind when you have a serious organ malfunction.  How long would I be in the hospital?  Would I have to have surgery?  If I did, would I live through it?  Ray and I had just moved in together officially the week before that, would he leave me if I was really sick?  Would I ever see our house or our dog again?  Was this a sign that I wasn’t meant to be happy?  I had finally gotten what I wanted, to live together, was it being ripped away from me?  Questions that now seem sort of silly but in the moment are incredibly real and insanely frightening.  I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to read my book or talk to Ray.  I just sat in the bed, hooked up to all the wires and bells and whistles for 2 days.  In hindsight, I made my situation worse by not eating, my blood sugar tanked for two days and my adrenaline was up which made for an even more uncomfortable time, mentally. 
So this morning, one year later, when it came time to decide whether I spin or sleep…..I knew that the best way to celebrate this last year being over was to spin….as hard as I could, to pedal as fast as I could, as heavy as I could in order to leave any remant of the last year and all its fear and anxiety and sickness far, far behind me.  There came a point in the class when we were arrow racing, tucked right down onto the handlebars, pedalling at your absolute top speed for 75 seconds, sweating so hard I couldn’t open my eyes, that I felt it all let go.  This is me now.  This is where I am now.  What happened is over and as it pops up occassionally I’ll deal with it….but I am no more defined by my heart condition than I am by my hair colour. 
Love List ~ November 8, 2011
MY LIFE, MY LOVE, MY HEALTH.  That is all.

Days Worth Living For

These last few days have been the ones that make all the hassle and daily struggle and bullshit worth it.  The fun stuff, the good stuff, the stuff that makes you smile and months from now may give you a chuckle or a smile when you think of it.

Friday morning started off very dark and very cold when I went to get Tara to go to the USA.  We stopped for some very good coffee and shared a white chocolate and raspberry scone from Woods Coffee Company in Bellingham and then got on the interstate and booked it down to the outlet mall.  Money was spent, laughs were had, fancy panties were purchased and then it was lunch time.  Applebee’s in the US is not bad….it’s not great, but it’s not bad.  Unfortunately as we were leaving to head back to stores closer to home, we saw the restaurant that we had initially wanted to go to not 4 blocks down the road.  Ah, well, maybe next time.  Tara fell in immediate love with Trader Joe’s in Bellingham and we spent a good long time perusing their offerings.  Both of us packed grocery bags full and headed for our last stop at Target.  And then…it was time to come home.

Great trip, great conversation….the only thing that would have made it better is…..nope, not much.  Great day.

When I got home from dropping Tara off, Ray took me for dinner and then I had to come home and boil ribs and make sauce and cut squash and make apple crisp in preparation for the family dinner that we were hosting on Saturday.

Saturday morning started out bright and early with a killer spinning class.  I realized about half way through the class that my body has adapted to spinning and that the resistance that used to torture me isn’t quite as difficult anymore.  And so, because I figure what’s the point of going unless you’re going to give it everything you have, I cranked up the dial and got after it.  When I got home from spinning I was very happy to see that Ray had vaccumed upstairs and down and mopped the floors.  Very nice little treat, much appreciated!

Dinner was fantastic, wine, succulent ribs, savoury rice, caesar salad and some killer herbed garlic toast.  And warm apple crisp with vanilla ice cream for dessert. 

And yesterday was a beautiful crisp fall day that had us lazing about until noon, a nice lunch at a neighborhood coffee shop and then two hours of leaf raking in the back yard.  Ray commented to me as I was raking that because of how large our yard is and how many leaves there were to rake, that it meant I shouldn’t have to go to the gym for a couple of days.  I disagree….while the leaf raking and hauling of 35 pound leaf bins and bags gets the heart rate up, I rather believe that the gym is the reason that I can leaf rake without an aching back or exhausting myself.  Leaf raking falls into the same category as dog walking or car washing or yard mowing.  It’s one of those things that you do, that is active, but isn’t considered exercise…not gym-replacing exercise anyway. 

Sunday night was leftovers for dinner, I baked Peanut Butter Ranch Cookies and spent a couple hours sitting on the sofa in my jammies drinking hot toddies and watching mindless television (which almost never happens).

I had one epiphany over the weekend that concerned exercise and food.  For me, I’m in the gym 4 hours a week.  Three spinning classes and a kickboxing class….(I burn approximately 2700 calories at the gym every week).  I’m NOT in the gym 15 hours/day (waking hours) which is 105 hours a week.  What goes on in the gym is good….definitely good, great even.  But what goes on when I’m not in the gym as it relates to food is a larger portion of my life.  Kill a workout 4 hours a week, great.  Eat too much or the wrong food when not in the gym and you’re diminishing the value of that hard work.  That was my epiphany.  It’s really easy to get sucked into the mindset of “I worked like a demon in the gym, now hand over the brownie!”.  I am going to work hard the next month to change that mindset to “I worked like a demon in the gym, now I’m seeing results!”. 

Below is a photo of the delicious ribs that we made!

Tonight I’m going to BodyCombat (kickboxing) right after work…again, dependant on making it there by the time the class starts…I can’t leave work early every Monday so it’s a crap shoot if the traffic is decent enough to get me there on time.  Tuesday is 6am spinning, Wednesday is 7pm spinning and then I think I might try to squeeze a class in on Friday (day off) because I have an hour of cardio to make up to keep me on track this month.

Love List ~ November 7, 2011

  • fluffy, sweet smelling pink bath towels
  • JOE yoga tops
  • friend chatter and family time
  • grey wool toque!
  • my stretching manual

Rolling Waves

I’m not normally one to post the motivational posters and sayings that you’re seeing all over blogs and the web right now.  But this one I saw the other day on Marathon Sweetheart’s blog (she has a flipping TONNE of these) and since it’s pretty much exactly how I’m feeling right now, I thought I would put it up.
I feel like crap right now, I’m bloated and it feels like everything that I eat or drink is sitting right on the top of my stomach.  I have a hunch that I know why I’m feeling like crap….but I’m annoyed by it anyway. I’ve just spent the last four days resting from spinning, the only exercise I’ve had since last Wednesday was BodyCombat on Monday.  And now that my brain and my ankle and legs are all ready and itching to get back to spinning, the rest of my body is in revolt.  It seems like when your motivation is riding along on the swell of the wave, nothing can go wrong, you have all the energy in the world and inspiration is running through your veins.  When the wave crests, which it must do, and things start to move back down into the hollow, everything is so much harder and takes so much more mental cheerleading/cajoling.  The length of time spent at the crest and at the bottom change and the height of the high and the depth of the low do as well.  And it’s insanely frustrating since one day you can have it all locked down and the very next day, sometimes for no apparant reason, it all feels like it’s falling apart.
It’s frustrating as shit!  We as women also get the short end of the stick because regardless of our best laid plans and schedules and motivation, we get a week every month that beats the hell out of us.  I’ve waffled on occassion about whether to just let the week go and do nothing and on the 8th day things will be back to normal…..or to power through as much as possible in order to keep the momentum going.  I’m not sure which one has the most value, but since I already rested 4 out of the last 5 days, I’m powering through.
Last night I went tanning (oh, so warm through and through, I’m going to LOVE that through the winter!) while Ray was laying on the sofa groaning.  He’s prepping yesterday and half of today because he has his colonoscopy at 1:30 this afternoon.  He’s so miserable and freezing cold and dizzy and not sleeping.  I feel terrible for him….but two days of discomfort is worth it when it’s to screen for something that can destroy everything!
As mentioned, tonight is spinning (with Valerie…I have to soak up every class I can get with her so that when she’s gone, I’m fully entrenched in the routines) and then tomorrow is my last day of work, Tara and I are playing hooky together on Friday and going to take a trip into the US for a little shopping.  Really looking forward to the little mini-vacation, some coffee, a pastry perhaps, a little driving, a bunch of shopping…no work involved.  Sounds lovely to me!
Happy Wednesday!
Love List ~ November 2, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
the warm tanning bed
a snuggly boyfriend this morning
a short week (I’ll be grateful for this one tomorrow too!)
giant gala apples

Low Grade Crabby

October ended yesterday and for me it ended on a high note although I have to say that November hasn’t started out that way.  I am C-R-A-N-K-Y today!  I think it’s one of those moods that isn’t based on any one thing but a bunch of little things that are all ganging up.
Yesterday I left work a smidgen early in order to make it to my first BodyCombat class.  The girl teaching it is one of my favourite RPM (spinning) instructors so I thought if I was going to try something brand new, I wanted it to be her teaching the class.  Hell on toast, that class is HARD.  I am unco-ordinated, inflexible and have little to no upper body strength.  For that reason, I will be there every Monday afternoon for awhile.  I think it’s going to replace jogging on my schedule for awhile.   I had no idea that you could work so hard and sweat so much when you are only under the influence of your own body!
One of the things that I know making me crabby today is that I found out yesterday that Valerie (favorite instructor) is moving away in a month to go and open a new GoodLife Fitness in Kelowna.  We’re not friends, I barely know her and I don’t think she even knows my name, but I see her 3 times a week and her energy and drive and personality are a good part of what inspires me to get my ass down to the gym some days.  And in a month she won’t be there and it’ll be a bunch of random people teaching all her classes.  Whatever, I guess it’s not an actual problem but it makes me sad!
One of the other things that is making me crabby today is that I have a common spinning aggravation (not injury at this point) and the beebopping around in BodyCombat yesterday did nothing to help…and so I did not go spinning this morning.  I have Achilles Tendinitis…which means that my Achilles Tendon is inflammed.  It’s not a huge deal but it definitely is uncomfortable.  It’s most often caused by improper foot position when spinning. What I KNOW is that it’s often caused by dorsiflexion of your foot (toes pointed up) when pedalling.  What I THINK is that it’s because my quads (and most women’s) are so much stronger than my hamstrings so my body tries to get the quads to take the brunt of the work by driving the pedals down with my heels…and then my toes point up.  So ice, stretching, ice and a bit of rest.  I’ll be back to spinning tomorrow night, it’s already feeling better this morning after icing a bunch last night and again this morning.  And….my hamstrings will just have to suck up the pain from now on.
Ray is currently doing the first day of a two day cleanse prep for a colonoscopy.  It happens every two years and it’s always a touchy time because his dad died of colon cancer so getting that screening done is a good thing but we’re all on pins and needles for a couple of days…it brings that fear right to the forefront!
And finally, putting two “X” marks on my fitness schedule doesn’t feel very good, those red X marks are little failure tattoos and I don’t like it.  There are far more happy check marks than X marks though!  Tomorrow I’ll be back at it.  I’m kind of glad for the rest even though it meant red X’s though, I am tired and this morning looking in the mirror I actually look tired.  That’s not good…exercise is supposed to boost you and energize you and make you look vibrant and glowing….not tired!  I’ll be all rested up after all of today and tomorrow and ready to go tomorrow night!
Love List ~ November 1, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
a good ache in my shoulders and back
curry chicken mini pot pie for dinner (I’m being grateful in advance!)
cinnamon quinoa w/ a touch of syrup

End of October!

Morning.  I’ve been feeling posterrific over the last few days! 
I’ve completely brushed off the “failure” of skipping spinning all weekend and I’m moving on.  Because….what choice do I have?  I’m actually kind of excited about tonight.  I’m trying a new class at the gym called BodyCombat.  All the classes at my gym are Les Mills classes and those programs are definitely a challenge.  Valerie (Group Exercise Instructor) tells me that RPM (spinning) is the hardest one and since I already do that I’ll be fine…..but I’m not so sure.  You regulate your own resistance on the bike throughout the spinning class so if you’re really struggling you just turn down the volume.  In the aerobics style classes where it’s just you and an aerobics room, if you’re really struggling you just…..keep struggling?
Anyway, BodyCombat is an hour long martial arts aerobics class and completely out of my comfort zone.  I’ve never d0ne martial arts, I’m inflexible and I can’t do a push up to save my life.  Sounds like exactly the class I need, right?  LOL!  I keep thinking of that annoying cliche saying “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.”.  It’s true though and so tonight (providing I make it there through traffic in time for the start of the class), I am going to do something different.  Wish me luck!
Now, even though I said above that I’ve put the weekend behind me, that’s not to say that I haven’t learned a big, huge lesson from some of the goings on.  I have come to realize that I am very sensitive to sugar, and not in a good way.  I don’t notice any particular energy spike when I eat sugar, but the crash that I get is horrible.  Plus, once I start with the refined sugar, my brain and my hand-to-mouth action don’t always connect.  I find myself re-sugar-charging myself when I really haven’t made a concious decision to do it.  One cookie equals two which equals an ice cream which equals a piece of fudge and on and on.  I exercise enough to take the calories but what it does to my body hours later is horrible.  I get sooo sleepy and soooo lethargic and that just snowballs if I let it.  I read a study awhile ago that said that refined sugar does a similar thing in the brain that heroin does (obviously to a lesser extent) and that makes sugar addictive.  It also said that generally people who are more overweight are more addicted to it due to longer term exposure and that the bigger you are, the harder time you will have cutting out sugary items.   I’ve also noticed (for quite some time) that sugar in any quantity makes my stomach swollen and my digestive-ness not work properly (if you get me) and changes my appetite completely.  So, I’ve got a sugar embargo going on right now in my world.   I need to just remember how crappy I feel afterwards and I should be completely fine saying no, thanks.
Love List ~ October 31, 2011
This morning I am grateful for:
 a pajama clad late(r) night drive (that’s always tonnes of fun)
quinoa cooked in cinnamon
apples and peanut butter
new exercise possibilities
my down vest!

A Pumpkin Night

A quick post to show you some very cute pumpkins that were handcrafted by my friend and I.  I would also have had a picture to show you of the sushi that we got however I was too excited and got right into eating it….and then catastrophe struck when my little take out container slid right off my lap and onto the floor.  I suppose fate saved me from stuffing myself full of sushi since eating it off the dog-furred rug is slightly beneath me.  It was especially upsetting since it happened exactly as I was thinking to myself “Gee, I sure am glad I go spinning often so that I can eat all of this and not feel guilty.”  I guess the world decided I shouldn’t actually eat ALL of it and portion controlled my dinner via floor-smash.  Oh well.  The part I got to eat was deeeelicious!

We also had lots of wine and watched a silly girly movie and drank bubble tea…..which…..I am not a fan of.  Really.  No.  Just……no.

I’ve got a love list below….but I also have a love, not so much love item.  Earlier this week Ray and I suffered a bit of a blow to our relationship…..we’ll heal and move on but it’s taking me a little longer to get back to feeling alright.  So yesterday when I talked to him on the phone I asked him to please kiss me when he came to bed last night.  He always says he will and he never does.  He says he figures I’m sleeping, why bother.  I insisted this time, my heart and soul really needed a kiss when he layed down beside me.  I really didn’t believe he would do it, so I was pleasantly surprised and scared shitless when he planted a big wet kiss right on my sound asleep lips at 1am.  He’s actually a little lucky that I didn’t deck him.  So…..yes, I liked getting a kiss when he came to bed and I liked that he followed through with what I asked for…..but I did not like Fright Nights in my bed last night.  LOL!

Anyway, on with the pumpkins.  There’s Meghan pre-poking the balls, there’s a pumpkin closeup, there’s a field of pumpkins with some wine and someone’s hand trying to sneak it and there’s a picture of the faced ones close up.  There is not a picture of the sushi (as noted) or the sheer destruction of my kitchen when we were done last night. 

Here’s something you should not do.  Make Royal Icing and then get distracted and let it harden into your mix master and beaters.  Also?  Don’t cut styrofoam with a bread knife, that shit gets everywhere!  Also, don’t put hot melted chocolate directly into a ziploc sandwich bag, the bag melts and the chocolate goes everywhere!  Just a few tips should you decide to craft your own Pumpkin Head Cake Pops!

Love List ~ October 28, 2011

This morning I am grateful for:

  • wine and a silly girl movie on a weeknight
  • a field of pumpkins in my kitchen in the morning
  • my jug of water
  • a 1 am chat about everything that I can barely remember