July 15, 2014: Expectations

You and me, Jez, we need to make nice.

You and me, Jez, we need to make nice.


As mentioned yesterday, we are currently living on the surface of the sun.  And, as mentioned, I knew it was coming so I planned for it accordingly. 

On Saturday & Sunday, in approximately 90 minutes total, I put together a kickass salad bar for the week.  We have four pre-cooked protein sources (gr beef, gr turkey, chkn thighs & hard boiled eggs), three fat sources (olives, nuts, avocado), various crispy veggie sources (spring greens, peppers, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, shredded carrot, diced apple, shredded beet), two warm-able starchy carb sources (baked yam & roasted beet/carrot/potato) and three dressing sources (sunshine sauce, a middle eastern avocado style dip/dressing and a homemade ranch dressing).  Ray also has the option of a Kaiser bun and the addition of either goat or shredded cheddar cheeses.  I’m telling you, this could be the way of the future!  Salad bar one week out of each month?  And in the winter, soup and “salad bar” with warmed veggies as the base?  Don’t tempt me!

Salad Bar

On my way home yesterday I stopped in at a vacant, relatively shaded parking lot and did 20 minutes of stop and start trials on Jezebel to help get used to her weight and controls.  20 minutes might not seem like much, but 20 minutes of handling 800# at 10km/hour in the scorching sun is plenty long!  Unfortunately I left the parking lot feeling really defeated.  Jezebel is a heavy bitch and, for whatever reason, I assumed I’d just hop on her and ride away.  It’s taking longer than I thought to get used to her controls, weight, handling.  WAIT.  PAUSE!  Holy crap how stupid am I behaving!  I have ridden her to and from work once; 12km, 20 minutes total….and I’m disappointed in myself that I’m having some rookie-roughness.  Quite honestly, that is ridiculous and not fair to myself.  So that said, I’m doing something I’ve never consciously done before.  I’m lowering my expectations of myself.  I am not going to expect to be able to perform like someone who has been riding their entire life.  I am not going to expect to be perfect right out of the gate.  I’m going to forget everything that came “before” and focus on what is going on right now.  It might be a bit wobbly and rough and tentative for the next little while….but I’ll keep practicing, go to my lesson, focus on improving my skills with her….and accept my performance as it is in that moment.


After salad-bar dinner last night we puttered around for an hour……………and then disaster struck!  I got sick with violent bathrooming and vomiting for about 2 hours.  It was awful and….well…..violent.  I know I was dehydrated yesterday and on the weekend and then I was messing around in the parking lot with my helmet on, baking my brain…..so I think I got a touch of heat stroke.  I felt kind of sketchy all night in bed but basically slept right through.  At 5am when it was time to get up and take Gracie for some exercise, I downgraded my 5km walk-jog plan to our 3km just-walk instead.  Seemed like the right thing to do rather than stressing my already questionable body and it felt good; refreshing.  I had bone broth last night after I stopped being sick and another 2 cups this morning and I don’t feel too badly right now, I’ll be sucking back the water today though!

Here’s a fun picture from work yesterday.  His name is Harley and he is a 185# bull mastiff and he clearly just hates the attention!  My co-worker brought him in because my boss is out of town this week and it’s air conditioned here instead of at home where he swelters.  He’s awesome and snuggly and so huggable!  And…he’s here again this morning giving out hugs and kisses!



2 thoughts on “July 15, 2014: Expectations

  1. Great post. LOVE JEZABEL! Have I congratulated you yet? That is so awesome. Initially I was going to say, “your so lucky!” but luck has nothing to do with it. You have put in hard work and time and energy to get what you deserve. And you rock.

    Loving the salad bar. I have been making a big salad at the beginning of the week and taking it for my lunch every day with leftover protein and it’s been working great but the thought of creating the salad bar for the evenings – genious!

    Have been really loving your posts and your thoughts lately. Love that you’ve taken control and you are thinking outside the box and outside of society’s expectations. Keep it up, sister – you’re very inspiring.

    • Thanks Tara, that comment was really nice to read! I would drag/bring every woman that ever meant anything to me along to the “no molds” place that I’m trying to get to. Even just practicing not jamming myself into “the mold” is so freeing!


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