Happy Wednesday, Internet! Did you have a good sleep?
I was in the gym again this morning working on some rowing and my legs. I hate leg day because I don’t like leg exercises but I love leg day because it’s a faster workout for me so I get home sooner and get to have almost a half hour to myself to ice my legs and drink coffee. Tomorrow is a FULL ON REST DAY (no gym, no century mileage) and because of that I’m kind of looking forward to tonight, staying up an hour later and laying on my couch watching my shows while Ray goes over to his buddy’s house (I took back Wednesday evenings to be mine, all mine, more on that another day). Friday will be another upper body day at the gym and then only century mileage on Saturday and Sunday I’m doing a community run with my Seestah!
I was so excited this morning to be feeling a bit slender-er so I put on a top that Ray’s daughter bought me for C’mas that was….err…..much too tight at Cmas time.
I’ve been really nervous about stepping onto the scale next Friday (Jan 31) because I’ve been working really hard and feeling really good (finally) but felt that nothing was really changing and not seeing that scale drop down to at least near my goal would be heartbreaking. But this morning I can tell based on this outfit that something has changed even if I’m not quite sure yet as to what that is.
And….I’m wearing these awesomely cute shoes to go with it. I bought them in December and could not WAIT to wear them….this morning they seemed like they would go really well with my outfit win…even if it is still a bit chilly out to be wearing them.
I just wanted to talk quickly about my eating at the table thing. It is definitely still a struggle to get Ray to naturally head for the table three nights per week and to be honest, sometimes I completely forget that we’re supposed to be sitting there. So why am I so stuck on it? It has a little to do with enjoying the food and really compartmentalizing meals. But my ultimate goal was to get us talking to each other more, spending more face to face time with each other every evening. Last night I thought maybe it’s working. Dinner was in the oven when Ray got home and I don’t turn on the TV when I’m home first. We stood in the kitchen and talked and laughed and pestered each other and then we moved into another room, sat down and went over my weights routines to make sure that they are balanced. It was SO nice to be together with no background noise and no distractions. Ultimately, our chatting and whatever led to a LOT of time passing and we didn’t sit down to dinner until nearly 7pm….so I acquiesced on the dinner table in favour of watching a show together while we ate. People get into a rut…..we got into a rut. A dull, quiet, boring rut….and my firm insistence on focusing on just each other for the duration of a meal in the evening is, slowly but surely, getting us out of it.
I have me a splitting headache right now….I’m glad that the tea I picked out for myself last night was a peppermint based one since peppermint is good for a headache….but it doesn’t seem to be helping at all! I’m off to throw myself into the incredibly, brain-bleedingly dry world of pricing high voltage electrical maintenance. As if that won’t make me want to put my head through the wall!
Fitty vs Fatty 
I need to say this to you this so badly… DON’T STEP ON THE SCALE!!! When you say, “I’ve been working really hard and feeling really good” and that “not seeing that scale drop down to at least near my goal would be heartbreaking”. THAT is the reason why we put the scale away – it’s a total bullshit mind fuck and it is a terrible way to measure your success!! You are saying right there in that paragraph how hard you are working and how much better you feel and you have a photograph of how fantastic you look and you have a piece of clothing that fits you amazing that didn’t before!! WHY would you give the scale a chance to wreck all that and take it all away from you? You have all the answers you need. You don’t need a number from the scale to tell you you are doing well.
What if the number on the scale isn’t what you’re hoping for?? (And it may very well not be!) You will feel sad, you will feel shitty, it will be heartbreaking. WHY should you feel anything less than good about yourself when you’re clearly making progress and being good to yourself?
Don’t fall back into the trap of needing a number on the scale for validation. Scales are bullshit.
I have just read your comment….about 20 times in a row. It made me miss you SO MUCH! You’re right. You are completely, 100% right. I got the scale out before Cmas and stood on it….then the Christmas Feedbag got strapped on and I did not weigh myself on January 1st so I really have no clue where I was when I turned the corner into January. That blasted scale is sitting on my bathroom floor….and I swear, it mocks me every day. I have been DREADING having to stand on it next Friday, terrified it won’t bear out all my hard work and positive change. So terrified that it would flip me the finger that I had even gone so far as trying to figure out what I can eat the day before that doesn’t weigh much. How effed up is that?! I haven’t had scale anxiety in…what….2 years? Didn’t miss it and don’t want it back. How absolutely ridiculous that I would even consider forcing myself to do something that I have been dreading for nearly a month. Thank you, my dearest friend, for pointing out the lunacy of my thought pattern. LUNACY.
Dear Scale, I am not standing on you, fuck off.
The last line has me grinning from ear to ear!!!!
Yeah… don’t weigh yourself. Keep pushing.
Also, you are looking great!
You look fab and those shoes are indeed sooooooooo cute. I ditched my scale a couple of years ago, after losing a dress size without my weight going down.
If people find the scale useful, that’s fine, I respect that. But it isn’t the only tool – fitting into something that was too tight just a few weeks ago is a great metric too!
Thanks! That was one of the reasons that I ditched a few years ago also. That, and if you’re exercising and eating a reasonable and clean diet, it doesn’t matter what the scale says because unless you’re going to kill yourself in the gym or restrict calories, both terrible ideas, there’s nothing you can do about the scale. I lost my mind for awhile there…..glad to have it back and be in the company of other folks who feel the same!