In For It

10 day strike notice was given at my company yesterday.  Husband and I work at the same place so we’re in a unique and highly stressful situation of limited/reduced finances, the high potential that the company will just close our plant permanently rather than deal with the strike and the political and relationship issue of me having to cross his picket line (I’m not in the union so I’ll still be working).

My Grampa has been in the hospital since last Wednesday with a wicked lung infection in his already deteriorated respiratory system.  He has COPD (emphysema) from decades of being a welder.  While they have mostly cleared the infection, he is now on full time oxygen and dealing with issues of acute aging.  He’s 82 and declared to me last night that he doesn’t feel like his life is worth living anymore. 

I am stressed to the max right now.  I don’t even know what to worry about at any given moment.  Last night I had a good hard cry………well……….I was going to.  I started to.  And then Grace came to the rescue while I was laying on the floor of the hallway sobbing and stood on my back and started licking my face like it was her job.  Ray says that she is a professional in the area of misdirection.  I say that God made tears salty so that your dog will lick them while you cry.  It’s strangely comforting.  I also drank some cheap wine and ate a couple chocolates.  That helps too.

I don’t know what next week will be like.  Hell, I don’t even know what tomorrow will be like.  I’m fully in one-day-at-a-time mode right now.  I have gym plans next week.  I think I need a hard sweat to help release some of the stress.  Whether I can actually get myself there or not……..can’t commit right now.

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