Give ‘Em What They Want?

Good Morning and happy Friday (seriously, thank GOD!).

Yesterday was a strange combination of great and brutal.  Of delicious food and a crying jag that I just couldn’t help.

I’ve been battling the typical relationship “stuff” this week a little more than normal, I really HATE afternoon shift because I’m left to come home and see what all didn’t get done and then do it all plus my regular cooking, cleaning up, dog walking etc.  Anyway, Ray went out for coffee with his buddy yesterday morning.  I thought it wouldn’t be nice to leave a huge list of chores for him so I left two notes (our method of communication when he’s on afternoons).  One said to please empty the dishwasher and one said to please close the windows and blinds on the front of the house before he went to work. 

After work I ran our standard Thursday Costco trip and then went to Thrifty’s for top ups.  I finally arrived home, completely wilted and exhausted, to find the dishwasher half unloaded (but not put away, just stacked up on the counter) and every window and blind in the house still open.  My dog was in such distress she didn’t/couldn’t even get up to greet me and the house was unbreathably hot!  I unloaded the dishwasher and then started to get dinner going and burst into tears.  Tears of frustration and anger and disrespect.  And then I threw everything back in the fridge, made myself an apricot smoothie, filled Grace’s food dish and took it and us into our bedroom, cranked the air conditioner and there we sat for the entire evening.  I eventually fell asleep around 9:30 under the blankets while Grace snuggled up on the bed beside me, blissed out in the frigid bedroom.

Anyway, we’re going to have a bit of a talk this weekend because I am not going through another week of afternoon shift with things like they are.

Moving on to the delicious food part.  I went out for a business lunch yesterday that was so delicious.  Granted, I thought I was going to die in a fiery crash getting to and from the restaurant, but for as delicious as the salad was, it was almost worth it!  I’d have taken a picture but that might’ve been a bit out of place at a work meal.  It was a bed of romaine, the plate half filled with smoked bacon and the rest filled with hardboiled egg, goat cheese, avocado and a tomato & fresh basil salsa.  In the center of the salad was a “flower” of big, meaty steak pieces, all tossed in a red wine vinagarette.  SO good. 

We went for this lunch with a sales rep from one of our California facilities.  He was an arrogant ass who attempted to make some sort of self serving “game” out of asking me a question and then interrupting me after I’d said less than three words and going on about himself.  I was once told by a boss of mine that people don’t like me because I don’t give them what they want.  He said that I am perceptive and that I can too easily read what someone is after and instead of giving it to them, I refuse them the exact thing that they are looking for.  In this case, this guy would look me right in the eye, ask me a question or try to engage me in conversation and then with a glint in his eye, interrupt me.  He clearly thought it was sport, he did it to the other woman that we were with as well.  She didn’t seem to catch on though, I did.  I just stopped talking.  And it frustrated the shit out of him.  Every time he’d try to engage me I’d defer to my male co-worker.  Can’t play if the other participant won’t play too, right?  By the end of the two hour meal he wasn’t talking at all, my co-worker and the other woman and I were discussing funny, random stuff and he just sat there fiddling with his phone.

Anyway, back a billion years ago this ex-boss had said to me, give ‘em what they want.  As it turns out, I still don’t/can’t.  If I can tell that someone is trying to get something out of me but won’t just come out and say it/show it, I lose all respect for them.  I’ll go out of my way to NOT give them what they are looking for.  It makes me unpopular with people.  On the other hand, I have great friends and family and if they want a compliment or sympathy or approval or compassion or attention they get it fully…… long as they aren’t being manipulative and deceitful about it.  Don’t try to beat around the bush and drag me through alleys and mazeways trying to get me to arrive at some predetermined destination…..because I probably already know where you’re trying to get me to go and if you aren’t up front about it, I’m not going there. 

On that note, here is one of our vacation pictures which I would like to share with you because I think it’s cute and to be honest, I’m kind of impressed with how I look….coming from someone who used to be nearly 300 pounds.


Have a happy weekend, it’s supposed to be absurdly hot here for a few more days, I suspect I’ll be spending most of it in our bedroom.


2 thoughts on “Give ‘Em What They Want?

  1. Be true to you, my friend. Never give in to that. Never give them what they want if they don’t deserve it. I hate the games and the manipulations that people play. Why should you give it up for the sake of making someone happy who doesn’t deserve to get it from you? You just keep doing what you do and being you.

    And also, that picture of you and Grace… you look like a trillion bucks!

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