Good Lord, how many times does a person have to go through the same things before they finally make a permanent change/connection?! In the last week I’ve eaten a huge amount of chocolate while at the same time not going to the gym, feeling miserable, physically uncomfortable and exhausted and apparently not making the connection. This morning in the shower I had one of those cold-sweat moments when the utter exhaustion I felt after a full night’s sleep transported me back to my obese and unhealthy days. And that’s when I made the connection (again) to sugar.
I wrote this back in October:
“…once I start with the refined sugar, my brain and my hand-to-mouth action don’t always connect. I find myself re-sugar-charging myself when I really haven’t made a conscious decision to do it. One cookie equals two which equals an ice cream which equals a piece of fudge and on and on. I exercise enough to take the calories but what it does to my body hours later is horrible. I get sooo sleepy and soooo lethargic and that just snowballs if I let it. I read a study awhile ago that said that refined sugar does a similar thing in the brain that heroin does (obviously to a lesser extent) and that makes sugar addictive. It also said that generally people who are more overweight are more addicted to it due to longer term exposure and that the bigger you are, the harder time you will have cutting out sugary items. I’ve also noticed (for quite some time) that sugar in any quantity makes my stomach swollen and my digestive-ness not work properly (if you get me) and changes my appetite completely. So, I’ve got a sugar embargo going on right now in my world. I need to just remember how crappy I feel afterwards….”
Of course I don’t eat cookies anymore but the exact same issues as far as my swollen stomach, appetite and energy still exist after sugar consumption. I’ve been feeling really badly about not getting to the gym this last week but I don’t anymore. I’ve been poisoning my body and then still expecting it to react the same way that it does when I’m fuelling it with high quality fat, protein and veggies. Obviously that’s not going to work, is it?
So in order to get back on track (is it just me or does it seem like the whole concept of healthy living entails discovering and changing bad habits in order to help yourself become/feel better, like an endless cycle?) I have a plan. Step One, stop being mean. Step Two, eat sugar/chocolate under penalty of death. Step Three, use afternoon energy and alone time (the right after work stuff) for the next two days to sweat out some toxins and get mojo back. Jog, walk, run, squat, lunge, whatever feels right. Step Four, chalk it all up as a lesson still being learnt and move forward.
Fortunately last night we did get some exercise, a 6.65 kilometer walk in our neighborhood after dinner so all was not entirely lost. After our walk I parked my newly finished wagon in the yard and found some pots to put in it. Tonight I’ll go and get some dirt and a few flowers and plant it.