Oh, am I ever kicking myself right now. I read a post yesterday about needing variation in diet and exercise. It was a good post and one that struck home in a number of ways. The most important one though was something that I’ve known for a long time but have just chosen not to do lately. She says if you feel like you’re eating super clean and you’re still not losing weight (or, heaven forbid, you’re gaining it), write down everything that you eat and see if the balance is out. Not being above continuous self assessment, even though I KNOW that I’m doing everything right, I got out a fresh new book and started back to Friday.
You see, Friday I felt fairly good about myself and then this morning I felt like dirt. It happens every weekend. Every. Weekend. I go into the weekend feeling good and come out of the weekend confused and bloated. Given that I am a veeeerrrrryyy clean eater, I didn’t think that this little exercise would show much except what I already knew. Ha!
I decided to mark each item with a letter; P, F, C (protein, good fat, good carb…fruit or veg). I also have a * for excess sodium (since I am very sensitive) an “E” for exercise and an “O” for anything that doesn’t fall under the heading of P, F or C.
Now, why, after a weekend of “clean and healthful eating” would I be up 3.4 pounds with flared up excema, a bloated gut and a short temper?
The “O”s! From Friday dinner to Sunday afternoon:
2 handfuls of kettle chips (and of note, I don’t have tiny hands)
3/4 of a bottle of red wine
a mini milk chocolate lindt bunny
the rest of the chips
Oh, clean eating, how you betray me! Not.
Don’t get me wrong, I did eat healthy THINGS over the weekend; a homemade shrimp salad, a proper balanced breakfast each day and a proper dinner (maybe have to cut back on the coleslaw though!). But I have betrayed myself and my mind chose to remember only the good and consider the bad as deserved treats. Whatever, I can think about it in 100 different ways. But I am sabotaging my success and my inner calmness by circling around the truth. I eat completely grain free. Fair enough. But I think I’ve taken it a bit to the extreme insomuch as what I am “allowing” myself to eat and pass off as healthy.
I’m not against treats, not at all. But I’m in a bit of a slow backslide and if I keep going in this manner I’m going to get the opposite results as I want and end up frustrated and burnt.
So where to go from here? I haven’t failed or ruined anything, nothing has fallen apart, so I’m just going to retool a bit and keep going. I’m going to mark down my intake and limit/reduce my O’s. I also need to get my ass back into the gym.
I’m one week away from finishing Stage One and then getting a 7 day break and I’m dragging my frigging feet about it. I know why……I know that the reason I’ve been making excuses is because I am feeling self conscious about….well…myself. You see, the personal trainers at the gym broke the co-ed olympic bar (how???) and so they keep stealing the one from the women’s section. So on Friday night last week I decided that instead of dicking around and dragging it aaaaallll the way back (it weighs 40 pounds) to the women’s only area, I would just do my Saturday morning workout in the co-ed. Aaaaaand…..I totally freaked myself out about it and now I haven’t gone to the gym at all. So dumb, isn’t it?? I’m frozen in place at the moment. But I have to break the ice and get going because becoming frozen here is not a place I want to stay. So tomorrow morning I’m doing early gym…..and in order to break the freeze, I’ve told myself that even if all I do when I get there is run on the treadmill then that’s acceptable because I just have to GO. I can also just do the deadlifts with lower weight dumbbells (or skip them altogether) and then, problem solved!
I think I’ve rambled on long enough now, I will leave you with a photo of a new permanent menu addition at our house; Sausage & Spinach Stuffed Mushrooms. They were so, SO good.