Same = Same

I joined my current gym over a year ago.  Back in April of last year Ray was injured and it was taking up all my off work time to take care of him and our house and dog etc.  I still really needed to burn off some steam though and so I started going to the gym in the morning before work.  It’s always quite dead in there in the early mornings so you tend to start recognizing the people who are also there.    Yesterday morning when I was at the gym I noticed a woman there whom I used to see when I was going in the mornings a year ago.  And absolutely nothing has changed.  She has not changed nor has her workout changed one iota.  She’s an middle aged lady with a large and drooping bust, no ass and flabby thighs and a perma-scowl.  I’m not saying this to be mean or disrespectful, it’s just how she looks.  Yesterday she was doing all the exact same machines and cardio that I used to see her doing a year ago.   I could have predicted where she would go next and what she would do.  I knew exactly how long she’d be there and what her next move was!
It got me to wondering about my own self.  I had made a comment to Ray the other day that I will never get to a more…..elite (weird and kind of strong word) level of fitness because of the choices that I make in my off gym life.  As one example, for the most part I haven’t been willing to give up drinking alcohol. 
It makes me wonder what I’m actually trying to achieve.  In reality, I know I’m trying to have it all.  Drink & eat questionably on the weekends, have ice cream treats whenever, workout during the week and effortlessly achieve a fantastically toned, fat-free and hardened body.  Right.  Because that works. 
So what do I want?  I gave up grain because I was feeling like a bag of crap.  And what I did there, unknowingly, was open a door to another dimension of fitness and health.  Weight lifting has fit perfectly for me so I know that what I’m doing is what my body wants me to be doing.  But I also know that I am holding myself back from achieving mind blowing success in this arena.  This has been a recurring problem for me in the last 3 or 4 years and I’m not sure where it comes from or what the point is.
And I’m not sure what to do about it.  I could really tighten everything up, quit drinking alcohol, properly eliminate sugar, limit carbs except veg and push myself at the gym.  Or, I could keep going on as I am enjoying my lacksadaisical off-time and then be annoyed when my belly flares up, keep hating all of my flab and lament the fact that no matter how hard I try, I never get anywhere, FFS!   
Seems like a simple decision and yet I’m torn.  I know I’m not the lady at the gym, my body has changed since this time last year, of that I have no doubt.  I have toned and muscular legs (from all the spinning) and a nice round bum (again, spinning) and my midsection is a lot smaller than it was last year (thanks, grain-free).  While I have had improvement in the last year I am by no stretch where I would like to be.  Gym-lady got me to thinking;  what do I want and why am I not getting it?  In a year, do I want to have done all this work and used up time and energy and money and gas and mental effort and still be in virtually the same place that I am today?  I don’t think I do, no.
More changes then.  Super.

2 thoughts on “Same = Same

  1. This post really hit home for me. I’ve spent so many years going through the motions, but not making real changes. Staying the same despite all my half-assed attempts to get healthy. Thankfully I’ve become aware of my past mistakes and I’m on a better path, but I agree that no matter how good I think I’m doing, there’s always going to be room for improvement. There’s always going to be a “next level” that I can strive for.

    Great post.

    • Isn’t it silly, we spend so much time and energy “sort of” doing it, conveniently forget all the times we either aren’t doing it or are sabotaging it…..and then we get pissed off because we’ll never get there g’dammit! LOL!

      So now, I’m thinking use the same energy actually do it and see what happens!

      Good luck in your ongoing quest! I’ll be on my quest at the same time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s