Consider yourself forewarned, there is no theme or rhyme or reason to this post.
Last night we were invited to dinner at Ray’s daughter’s house to celebrate her husband’s birthday….first birthday since they’ve been married….everything’s such a big deal when it’s the firsts! Anyway, given that sometimes relations can be a bit rocky with the adult children and the fact that my equilibrium is alway very turbulent any time we’re at an event where his ex wife will also be present, and the fact that I eat grain free and that is hard enough to explain let alone amongst all the other issues……..I had a roaring stomach ache yesterday afternoon. It wasn’t bloat as it has been in the past and there was no offending food that could have caused it. I figured it was either stress or the flu. I was really wishing it was the flu yesterday afternoon and went to the trouble to read up on inducing vomitting so that I could stay home and avoid the whole thing. But….that’s not very adult-like, is it?
We went, the evening was lovely (as it always, ALWAYS is when I’ve gotten myself worked up into a lather beforehand!) and Andrea cooked a beautiful dinner, a huge, fresh salmon, green salad w/ toasted walnuts, strawberries and avocado and then bread and potatoes. Andrea and her mom (the ex, obv) and I had a really amusing, slightly wine-induced conversation about weight management, fitness, supplements etc, cake was served (I passed) and then it was time to go.
When we got home, however, the stomach ache from hell ramped up and it felt like I had heartburn….in my back. My kidneys were on fire, my mid chest was aching something fierce, it was all I could do to stay standing. I ended up sleeping all night with a hot water bottle against my back and my front pressed up against the man-heater that I sleep with. This morning I felt fine though so either it was stress remnants from earlier or I fought something off.
I have not exercised in 2 weeks…..oh…no wait….that’s a lie. I went jogging last Tuesday and Wednesday. Whatever….considerable time has passed since I worked up a good sweat. And I don’t care. I don’t even feel bad about it. I should. I should be concerned that I have a 10k paid for that is coming in less than a month that I am not trained for. But I don’t. It’ll all work out. And Monday I start the weight training….which I’m looking forward to and also kind of freaked about.
I am at my lowest weight in over three years as of this morning….which doesn’t really count because only Tuesday weigh ins count….but I was excited. 2.2 more pounds and I’ll be in the lower bracket where my goal is. I’ll get there!
Tonight I should really go for a run…or at least a walk. Fresh air. It’s awfully black looking out there over where I live. We’ll see. What I do know is that Ray owes me an ice cream run for last night. We have an agreement that he shows me respect and appreciation when I play nice with his ex wife, even when I don’t want to. Since last night wasn’t a big deal, an ice cream date will be more than sufficient. I also got a kiss before we left the house last night with a “Thank you for coming, I appreciate it.”. Which…might not seem like a big deal, but he wasn’t coerced into the comment and he didn’t look like he was going to start bleeding from the eyes when it was over, it was just….nice.
So, walk. Halibut & mashed cauli for dinner. Ice cream later.
*****************and an edit****************
Ray is in the shower, he has been sobbing since I got home. He’s going to put his dog down in the next week and it’s killing him. It is breaking my heart watching his heart break. Life sucks. We’re still going for ice cream.