Order Out Of Chaos…I Hope

I feel like I’m a woman on the edge only, I’m not sure what I’m on the edge of, exactly.  That makes things a bit fuzzy and difficult to deal with/cram into a compartment in my brain.  I’m normally a very good compartmentalizer but the fact that my compartments are bursting at the seams right now means that things are just flying around in my brain all willy-nilly.
So how does a girl who needs to stay in control of her life start to get her control back?  She makes a workout schedule!  OK, maybe not everyone in my position does that to feel more secure and centered but it works for me.  I took a look at the next few weeks of my life and the gym schedule and made a plan.  It needed to be a plan that I can stick with during a tumultuous, slightly depressing time but also one that I can feel accomplished by, not something that is just a pass for the next 6 weeks.  The RPM schedule at my gym has gone through some changes and when I first saw that things were different than they have been the past year, I was not happy.  But in reviewing, it actually is going to work out perfectly for me right now.  Monday night is only a 30 minute class which is exactly what my next 6 weeks needs.  I still need to be going to the gym often and regularly but having a half-class is absolutely perfect right now.  It’s like I’ve been given a pass that I can still feel good about….you know what I mean?
Anyway, I’ve worked out my RPM for Monday night, Thursday night and Saturday mornings.  Since I’m not doing the Half Marathon Trail Training Clinic in February I will still be going to Saturday morning spinning.  And about that, cancelling the Trail Training.  It was a decision that I came to very resentfully that I cannot commit myself to a 14 week course right now.  But, I still want to do some jogging because I like it and I still want to do some races this year because it’s important to have goals to train for, plus I wanted to run a half marathon this year….which I will do, in three seperate races….maybe doesn’t count technically but it counts enough for me!  So I have some new dates in my calendar:
April 15 ~ Up The Creek, Hyde Park 10k
May 6 ~ Wheel To Heal 40k (cycle)
May 13 ~ Mother’s Day 5k, Port Moody
July 21 ~ Summerfast 10k, Stanley Park
I don’t think these goals are going to be overly difficult to achieve and it is important to me to have something in my life that is unchanging when everything else feels as though it’s swirling out of control.  It’s also important to me to do things that are challenging because when the rest of life is beating the shit out of me at least I can look at my actions and know that I have it in me to do difficult things and that can only make me feel good, right?
In order to train for road running again I’ve put jogging back on my exercise schedule.  I wrote it in for Sundays but it’s really just meant to be on one day each week as a “Weather Permitting Outdoor Run”.   I want to do most of the jogging in Mundy Park on the perimeter trail.  It’s 5km around and I’m thinking once I get my jogging legs/lungs back I’ll do a loop combination that’ll add up to between 7-9km.  There are also some areas in our neighborhood that I would like to train on, some good steep hills and some longer, flatter runs.  Ray’ll drop me off at the start and then I’ll jog home.
I’m trying to create some order out of chaos….and this is all I can do right now to make that happen.  It makes me feel better to have goals and a plan, even if it doesn’t directly affect my current circumstances, it makes me feel better and more stable as myself and that can only help.

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