I loved Tara’s comment yesterday regarding medicating myself with wine and then her comment about burnout. I partially agree (definitely agree with the wine part!) and I can feel the little nag of burnout on the back of my mind. After she wrote that comment I gave it quite a bit of thought last night about what my problem really is (I am a huge fan of self assessment and awareness)….and I don’t think it’s fully burnout to blame. I think it’s the fact that I’m working as hard as I can within the amount of available time that I have and I’m not getting the results that I want/expect. And THAT is what I don’t know how to fix.
She asked me yesterday if maybe I am getting bored with my routine…..and the answer to that was that I’m not, but that I’m really looking forward to February when trail running starts. And you know why? Because I figure if I’m training for a half marathon there’s no way I’m not going to lose that last few pounds that are bugging the shit out of me. Not that I don’t want to do the trail running for the fun of it, I do, and I’m quite excited about it…I love the outdoors, I like weather, I am looking forward to meeting new people with the same interests and also challenging myself against them (privately). But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also looking forward to the potential weight loss/body shaping benefits of more involved training like this!
I partly think I might be feeling a little better today also because I followed Tara’s advise about the wine last night and I put my head on my couch-pillow, and layed and flipped back and forth between Food Network and Biggest Loser for a few hours. The sum total of the amount of work/chores that I did involved making a grilled cheese sandwich and dragging the garbage cans to the curb. That’s it…and I’m hoping that it revived me a little. I have spinning tonight and I’m not dreading going, so that’s a good sign, I think?
While I was laying about last night, Ray’s ex-brother-in-law called….for no reason that I can figure out except to pry and nose around about what we were doing for Christmas. Ray says he is just a sentimental sort around the holidays and wanted to get in touch with us. I can almost make myself believe that since I have met him and he is a bit of a softie. But I thought it was weird that he called for no particular reason after we haven’t heard from him in months, and then started asking about Christmas and whether or not we were hosting a Christmas dinner at our house. Maybe he was just making small talk…..maybe. I’m going to run with that for now. In other Ex Family news, we received an invitation to Ray’s ex-father-in-law’s 75th birthday get together. His birthday is a day after mine…and his get together is on my birthday. And Ray wants to go. I REALLY don’t like that idea…..I love Gerry…..I knew him before I knew Ray (we used to work together)….and I would love to celebrate his birthday with him……but I don’t want to go and spend time with Ex Family on my birthday and I am NOT okay with Ray leaving me alone on my birthday to go over there….not even for 5 minutes. I’m a big girl, birthday is just another day……….and if he wanted to go and see his mom or his auntie or his kids, that would be fine. But NOT the ex family on my birthday. Absolutely not. Is that childish?