G00d Evening! Oh my gosh, it’s been a few days since I posted, I feel totally out of the loop!
I’m having a total ‘have to get my shit together’ general feeling, but I’ve had a rather rough go in the last couple of days and so now is not a great time to reassess. I missed work yesterday after a wallopping from my ticker on Sunday day and night. By Monday morning I was completely wrecked, getting off the sofa to go to the potty was a nightmare to even contemplate let alone carry out, I ate a piece of leftover omelette and one piece of toast w/ peanut butter…not because I wasn’t hungry but because I had no energy to make anything for myself. Once the ticker starts going goofy, very little oxygenated blood is getting pumped through the body. That’s a little like suffocating your body from the inside. Exhausted, nauseated, frozen cold, a bit sketchy mentally. It was the worst episode that I’ve had since a year ago when this first happened. Things feel mostly normal now, I just feel like I’ve been run over and I’m very tired. But, I went to work today and by mid afternoon wasn’t feeling too badly.
Friday was a stat holiday here and Ray and I went to Cache Creek for an outing. We left at 9am in an insane downpour, to the point that I asked if we shouldn’t just turn around and go home. But no, we trekked on and about an hour and a half in the skies cleared and the sun was beating into the car. It was beautiful….and I would have pictures except I turned my phone off due to lack of service in the area. We stopped at the bakery/pizzeria, bought some local honey, a pie, a loaf of fluffy white bread and had pizza for lunch and then we got back in the car and headed right back for home. It was a lovely day, uninteruppted quiet time together, very good.
Saturday morning I went spinning and then zipped down to our Harley meeting. We went for lunch afterwards (an egg and tomato wrap for me, clubhouse for Ray) and good coffee and then came home and watched The Wizard of Oz. Sunday morning I slept in and then Ray took us for brunch to Wafflehouse. (you see the pattern emerging here? TOO MUCH EATING OUT) Shortly after that is when things started to go sideways for me and the rest is mentioned above.
I planned a Girl’s Dinner for Thursday night to celebrate my late boss’ birthday and to reminisce with some of the ladies that we no longer work with. Should actually be a really good time! Friday is dinner out with Ray’s mom, Saturday after I go spinning, my sister and my mom and I are going to go and paint pottery as an impending-birthday celebration. And after that we’re going for a sushi lunch.
I’m supposed to be starting the Lift Like a Man, Look Like a Goddess program at the end of November and I really wanted to be down a few pounds before that happened. I feel like for the most part no matter how hard I work and how much I watch what I eat, these days I just wiffle waffle around the same scale weight, the same general appearance etc. I know that my whole body has been out of balance for over a week and a half and that certainly hasn’t helped. Exercise does definitely help to level the teetertotter but I don’t go every single day. Today I should have been at 6am spinning but I knew yesterday that wouldn’t be happening. I am looking forward to Wednesday night spinning and I’m trying very hard to eat cleanly in order to put everything back to balance.
I figure, I can only do the very best that I can do at whatever moment I’m in and the rest is just good enough. No point in feeling like a failure because I got clobbered for the last couple of days. Making myself feel bad won’t help…..so I just move on from this point and keep chugging forward. And STOP EATING SUGAR. That’s really the kicker right there…..if I’m being completely honest, I have to put the brakes on my sugary-treat nibbling habit. A cookie here, a piece of pie there, a lick of ice cream, a nice hot chocolate. Sugar kills me….I can usually eat quite a bit before I notice any physical change or discomfort in my body….but the sugar does it instantly and takes FOREVER to get back to normal. I am totally weak for sugar and I do great when I have NONE….not so great when I open that door. I shall climb back on the No Sugar For You, Sugar Addict bandwagon.
Couple of pictures attached, Ray and I and then Ray being a proud dad giving his daughter away……..that one will be part of a Christmas present from me to him this year. Also the delicious pizza that we drove a total of 8 hours to have, and the pie that we came home with. (No wonder there’s no change on the scale!). And the cactus pear that I tried over the weekend….not bad….not worth buying again though.
Isn’t it funny how you can be going along, feeling fine and then suddenly you look around and realize you’re off the rails. And it’s usually a multitude of reasons, one stacking on top of another. Any single one of them wouldn’t be enough to derail but when they keep coming at you and you keep having to deal or deflect things, they manage to throw you off track and things get messed up.
Not saying that you’re derailed, just that you’re not where you’d like.
The fact that you’re so self aware and determined is going to get you back on track in no time.