I’m struggling right now with a rather stressful event upcoming that is doing an excellent job at seriously straining my relationship. Unfortunately for me (again), there is not much that I can do about it without looking like an irrational fool and/or destroying any bit of goodwill that we’ve worked so hard to build over the last four years. Even though my complaint is nowhere near irrational, I am going to have to, for the eighty-billionth time, suck up my feelings, push them out of the way and put a smile on my face, however fake that may be. Since I happen to have the gift of foresight, I can predict what’s going to happen and the only thing I will have control over is my reaction and behaviour on the matter. So I’ve been trying to have conversations and make my spouse understand where I’m coming from and how his actions are affecting the crux of who I am and how I will feel towards him. It’s not going well. He’s a man, he doesn’t hear what I’m saying and even if he does, since he is not the one with hurt feelings or discomfort, he doesn’t think it’s that big of a deal and brushes me off.
In happier news, yesterday I joined Weight Watchers officially. The first weigh in wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought it might be (I’ve been avoiding the scale since we got back from holidays) and now I have my control back and a starting point to work from. In reviewing what I eat as it relates to points values I realized that I’m fully on the right track as far as types of food that I’m eating….during the week. My downfall is portion control (my eyeballing has gotten a bit loose over the last 5 years) bits and bites, weekend eating/treats and booze. Seems like a lot to have to regain control of but it’s not really. Now that I have firm structure again, portion control and bits and bites are automatically under control. Weekend eating and booze will be under the same flag of structure and points balancing. I was thinking I would save my weekly bonus points for alcohol, but the booze is one of the reasons for the tummy flab that I’m experiencing so I think I’ll just hold back on that for awhile.
Tomorrow night I’m going to get my nails done…thinking french but may just do a colour gel again. I had it done last year for our trip to Yellowstone on bikes because chipping nails/fingernails is common when camping/riding but I swore I would never do it again because I had to let them grow off rather than pay another $50 to get them removed. What I know now that I didn’t then is that we have acetone in the garage, just soak and they peel right off. So I’m getting them done for camping/event preparation because they are indestructible and it is important to me to be nicely manicured at all times but especially for something like a wedding. I’m also testing out a new hairdresser on Saturday morning. My hair is very basic and should, in theory, be absurdly easy to cut…just a trim, all the same length. Sadly, it gets screwed up more often than not. So I will try a new hairdresser at a really cute little boutique-shop area in Port Coquitlam. It’s medium pricey for a haircut but their website looked really good and they take hair very seriously. Plus it’s right next door to a favourite coffee shop….hmmm……I may make an alone-time morning out of it and put on a pretty summer dress, go for coffee first, read my book in the sun on the coffee shop patio, get my hair cut and then meander home. Hmmm…for sure, methinks! I could use the downtime/alone time, that’s for certain!
It’s a gorgeous sunny day out and while I have not gone for a proper jog in longer than I care to admit, I am going to head for the trail when I get home and jog the flat parts, walk the hills and feel good about getting some exercise.
Fitty vs Fatty 
I think with your new “lifestyle” (WW and exercise) you will start to feel a little better and although you might not have control over certain aspects of your life, you can feel good about treating yourself well with the right food and some exercise. Might alleviate just a bit of the yuck.
I hope anyways.
Good in the upcoming week or two.