This weekend was so hot and sunny and delicious that it’s hard to believe that I’m sitting in my ice-box office with my heater cranked, my jacket on and looking out at a grey, cloudy sky. We babysat George this weekend. We were sitting outside sipping coffee in the morning sun when he showed up at 9am. I always feel stupid when I say it, but I love that dog. I mean, I love our dog too but George I have a special love for. It’s weird though and it doesn’t help that George is Ray’s ex-wife’s dog. But the great thing is that George doesn’t know he’s Ray’s ex-wife’s dog, he just knows he loves his dog-mommy and that occassionally he gets to come and spend the weekend with his favourite away-from-home people that he also loves. George has provided a more common ground between Judy and I, which is good because there are instances when we are forced to spend time together and it’s nice when it can be as civil and pleasant as possible. To George, Judy is a person who loves him and gives him belly rubs and I’m a person who loves him and gives him belly rubs…to him there is no drama and no need for it. Lately I try to mimic George…some days it works, some days it doesn’t.
One of the instances of the strange intertwined ex-family vs current Pilon-Canaday household happened this morning. Judy’s gramma passed away at 7 this morning, 4 days shy of her 100th birthday. She’s Judy’s gramma and the kids’ great gramma….but just because Ray is divorced from Judy doesn’t mean he’s divorced from the family that he spent 40 years of his life with. He loved Great Gramma and he’s sad that she’s gone and just because he’s no longer a part of that family…doesn’t mean he’s no longer a part of that family. Sometimes that’s a hard one for me to reconcile. Especially because I think sometimes Ray takes my ability to ‘conform’ for granted. It’s hard for me and these are mostly people that I have nothing in common with and no desire to be around…but I do, because that’s what needs to happen because I love Ray. I often wish though that he would notice the toll that it takes on my energy and do or say something to bolster that back up. It can be such a mixed can though….on the one hand I want him to notice that certain things aren’t easy for me….on the other hand those things that aren’t easy for me are always things that are also taking their toll on him….so then I think that I shouldn’t be so selfish as to take away from his sorrow (or his excitement in the case of his daughter’s upcoming wedding) and expect him to spend a little energy taking care of me. And then the moment/instance passes and life carries on and all that’s happened is that I’ve sucked up yet another difficult situation and had no comfort or appreciation at the end of it.
Moving along, out of the pity party and into the sunshine. I have a hilarious video of George and Brandy eating an ice cream cone but I can’t seem to email it to myself from my iPhone so it’s stuck at the moment until I can get it up on Youtube and then post the link. Here, try this:
Finally, something that I often have difficulty doing is finding decent books to read. Many thanks to Tarable for suggesting GoodReads! It’s a rating and review site (iPhone application) for books where you can see what your friends are reading, what they thought of certain books and get ideas for items you might like to read. HIGHLY suggest….and if you do go on it, friend me, my email address is myvstar1100 (at) hot mail dot com.