Today marks the end of the first week of My Passion Experiment. You can read more about it in these posts:
I’d said in one of the previous posts that I don’t feel like it is beneficial to “assess” whether or not it’s working but I thought I could share my observations thus far. (haha, the formatting is all buggered on this so apparently all my observations are number ONE!)
- Being “in the moment” takes practice. I am used to flitting around (mentally and physically) and doing one thing while thinking about the next two or three tasks or trying to pull off three or four tasks at once. I’m guilty of listening with half an ear when someone is talking to me and in having a conversation with someone without actually being engaged with them. I’m guilty of walking my dog and texting and checking my phone. I’m guilty of sitting down to watch a movie or a hockey game or a show with my husband and spending half the time reading blogs on my iPad. This past week I have made a concerted effort to focus on ONE thing at a time. I have purposely left my phone downstairs and/or heard a text/tweet come through and made a point not to look at it until the next day. Man alive, that part felt HUGELY empowering, not being a slave to a beeping, chirping, buzzing piece of glass and metal. :) I noticed one night when we were having dinner, I was finished eating first and was ready to get up, clean up, get going. I had to remind myself to just sit….and engage and chat. Funny how we get used to blazing through things instead of stopping and enjoying them for what they are.
- I’ve noticed that I don’t feel like I need as much “couch-time” when I’ve done things that are good for me (ie, waxing my legs, filing my nails, hitting the gym, tanning, reading in bed, going to bed on time). For whatever reason, when I’m not expending time and energy on myself, my “need” for lengthy downtime is greater than when I am spending time on/with myself. I suspect that it’s the old “quality over quantity”. When I’m doing quality things for myself, they blow quantity out of the water. And in reverse, if I’m not doing the quality things, I’m trying to fill that “me time” reservoir with something that has a much lower value and it takes a lot more of it. Make sense?
- I’ve been following along with a “Love Your Body Challenge” that a dear friend turned me onto. Every day you’re given a new mantra with a blank to fill in as it relates to you. Then you repeat it 10 times, do the assigned “action item” while repeating it 10 times and then repeat 10 more times before you go to bed. I’m not really a “mantra repeating” sort. Seriously…not for me. But I’ve been writing down my mantra each day, reading it back to myself at various intervals (and reading back the ones from the previous days), doing the action items and really putting thought into what these mantras are supposed to mean. Aside from developing more appreciation for ALL the aspects of me, it’s made me remember that there is no One Right Way. I’m not a mantra-repeater. No problem. I’m not a runner anymore. That’s alright. Realizing that there are as many ways to achieve success as there are unique people in the world has been vastly freeing.
- In an experiment inside my Experiment, I’ve also stopped giving out huge amounts of detail to Ray in regards to what I do in my alone time. Not because I want to keep things from him but because I feel like I need to be able to celebrate myself without needing any validation from outside of myself. It’s not hugely important things, just…..a few teeny things that I want for my own which do not impact our relationship in any form. We are so close and we spend 90% of our at home time within sight of each other and I wouldn’t have it any other way. But during this time of finding myself and my passion again, it’s been important to do some things because I need them, and they seem to have more value in the absence of explanation or discussion. Does that even make sense?
- And finally, I am deep in the process of letting go of the past. That’s all I’m going to say on this right now, it’s an interesting process and one that is taking a lot of my mental energy right now. I don’t exactly have an awesome skillset surrounding letting things go and releasing my grip on certain things is scary and does not come easily. But….to learn and grow and move forward you cannot be chained to a huge brick from the past and even a pebble from the past in your moving-ahead-shoe is irritating and inhibits forward motion. This is a work in progress…like the rest of this Experiment.
I’m very grateful that I have this blog because it certainly helps me to flesh things out in my mind. But also because of the amazing people that come here to read it, people that comment and link to their own blogs and stories and lives. It’s really an amazing community and I’m so grateful for it!